I Like to Watch…

I like to watch. It’s hard to say exactly why, but that’s the truth of it: I just like to watch her.

And of all the different situations and scenarios in which I like to watch her, this, I’m quite sure, is my favorite. It’s 5:30 AM and most of the normal world is still asleep, but she’s been up for more than 30 minutes already. She doesn’t do this every morning, but, a few times a week, this is her routine: She gets up early, puts on a baggy sweatshirt, some shorts and takes her cup of coffee outside to sit the dunes and watch the morning sun rise up out of the sea.

Sometimes I join her; sometimes, like this morning, I just sit on the deck and watch her. It’s about 100 yards from where I sit on the old porch swing on our wrap-around deck to where she sits on the dune, so, because it’s still dark but getting lighter, I only see her shadowy figure against the slowly coloring sky.

What’s she doing? She’s watching the morning come. It’s something she never tires of doing and I could sit here and watch her do this for hours and never tire of it.

Have you ever felt so much love for someone that you thought your heart would break just from the weight of carrying it? Do your eyes ever pool with tears of joy simply at the sight of something so stunningly beautiful and natural that your body just has to respond and tears is only way it knows how?

Have you ever hiked high up into the mountains following a path through a thick forest and come around a bend to discover a grassy meadow you didn’t expect to find, and in that meadow you saw a fawn grazing peacefully in the dew-covered grass; your eyes changing focus to discover the fawn’s mother about 10 yards behind also grazing, completely comfortable in this place and totally oblivious to your presence? They fit so perfectly, they belong here and you sense the perfect harmony in which they live.

Your very soul goes through a cosmic struggle of love and longing—a longing to know this kind of harmony and crushed by the knowledge that it isn’t meant for you—you want so much to enter into that place but you know how unnatural you are and that your presence would destroy their harmony…

So you just watch and soak it in for as long as you can.  The tear reminds you that it is possible to miss something that you have never known…

That’s what I feel right now watching her watch the morning come.

It’s like the James Taylor song: “Karen sees the silver sun, you best walk her way and watch it shine; watch her watch the morning come. A silver tear appearing, now I’m crying, ain’t I, … There ain’t no doubt in no one’s mind that love’s the finest thing around, whisper something soft and kind…”

The sheer beauty of this moment and waves of love that flow through me have a tear slowly rolling down my cheek.

I have no desire to wipe it away.

30 Responses to I Like to Watch…

  1. unknownjim June 20, 2012 at 4:37 PM #

    Wow, this is really beautiful Bruce. Love how you bring us (the readers) with you to watch as well.

  2. Bruce Van Horn June 20, 2012 at 5:50 PM #

    @unkownjim – Thanks for the feedback. It really means a lot!

  3. La Mc Coy June 20, 2012 at 8:21 PM #

    Very nicely said. Laura.

  4. Bruce Van Horn June 21, 2012 at 11:17 PM #

    Thanks Laura! and thanks for following me on FB and Twitter!

    I’ve really missed writing fiction. It’s something I hope to get back to doing more often!

  5. Anonymous June 25, 2012 at 5:49 PM #

    Lovely!
    SLW

  6. Kathleen July 6, 2012 at 1:14 AM #

    This was beautiful…..felt as if I was sitting on the porch watching the gorgeous view, too.

    Look forward to reading more.

    Kathleen
    http://www.KathleenFordyce.com

  7. Lana August 6, 2012 at 12:23 AM #

    Yes, I’ve been there many a time. Watching my children. Watching the sunset. Watching a hummingbird, waterfall, storm, a ray of evening sun sneak through the blinds and fall upon my husband’s chest as a glorious praise song plays over the airwaves…the tear falls & I don’t wipe it away. “The wonder of it all is in a tear,” my husband sings to me. It’s all too beautiful to take in, my heart explodes w/the Creator’s Love. It’s a longing for eternity, where there will be no end to watching AND being a part of EVERYTHING beautiful that God has created. He’s put eternity into our hearts,…so He’s said. Praise Him. PRAISE HIM!! Thank you for sharing your gifting w/us. and for focusing our hearts and minds on something lovely;)

  8. Bruce Van Horn August 6, 2012 at 11:56 AM #

    Lana, thank you for your beautiful words. Your comment is a story unto itself! Thanks for reading, responding and giving God the glory!

  9. Kaylee September 14, 2012 at 11:05 PM #

    This was beautiful, Bruce. I love your descriptive style – felt like I was right there watchin’ the sunset too. =)

  10. Tauromaja November 5, 2012 at 7:18 PM #

    We should all be as lucky as you to have that.

  11. DenaNetherton May 7, 2013 at 5:19 PM #

    I think we humans know deep down that we’ve lost Paradise. But we see glimmers of it through the beauty of our loved ones, and the creation. We were made for this. That’s why we cry.

  12. Anonymous June 15, 2013 at 8:24 AM #

    Astounding piece Bruce! It always disappoints me how people have forgotten to look up and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us in nature and emotion. People are dominated by pride and vanity these days.
    Thank you Bruce.

  13. Brennagee June 16, 2013 at 5:21 AM #

    I can imagine myself as the watcher and as the watched. The still morning essence and hopeful approaching light never cease to create awe. It’s wonderful that you understand she needs that space. Very very beautiful post.

  14. Pamela Fahrenthold July 29, 2013 at 5:55 AM #

    So beautiful! Speechless

  15. Ansley October 5, 2013 at 1:47 PM #

    That’s beautiful! Thank you for sharing that glimpse of love to your readers.

  16. Lauren November 17, 2013 at 4:50 AM #

    Beautiful. Love like this lifts us higher, and from this place we can spread more of it into the world to others. Keep watching her, keep letting the tears fall, and keep sharing the beauty of such moments with the world.

    These are the moments we live for.

    Lauren
    Author of Secret Spiritual Stories

    xXx

    • Bruce November 17, 2013 at 7:10 AM #

      Thank you, Lauren! I plan to keep sharing. I appreciate the beauty of your response.

      Bruce

  17. Angela November 30, 2013 at 3:11 AM #

    Lovely -and I so lucky to be able to identify with this. 30 years of watching from farther away and 5 years with him; watching and being watched. Your words are the first I read this morning-what a set up for the day, thank you

  18. milkah November 30, 2013 at 2:32 PM #

    Loved it… Definitely gonna post this on Twitter.. It’s amazing to see in this life full of rush n hardships u guys still take time to sit n enjoy the little things.. To God be the glory… God bless u bro..

  19. Jacqueline November 30, 2013 at 9:16 PM #

    This is beautiful and totally made me cry! I definitely know the kind of love you describe here … It is awesome to know you sit and watch with gratitude … Thank you for sharing!

  20. Ernest December 2, 2013 at 3:09 PM #

    Thank you for sharing this master piece…its soo refreshing. It opens your inner spirit to gain that inner peace, happiness and love.

  21. Inevi January 14, 2014 at 5:32 AM #

    Beautiful! I really love it! It’s so sweet of you! To be honest, when I read it, I imagined I was there along with you watching a beautiful creation of God. I know the tears, I feel the same way. I’m sure God knows in my tears, there were prayers and the longing of my heart.
    Thank you so much! God bless you Bruce!!!

    Big hug from Indonesia

    Inevi

  22. Marie January 24, 2014 at 7:57 PM #

    That was so beautiful, Bruce! 🙂

  23. Aify March 3, 2014 at 5:28 AM #

    This is one of the most beautiful things I have read in recent time. Thanks Bruce for sharing.

  24. Nikki Anne October 11, 2014 at 12:32 AM #

    It is every woman’s wish to be reverenced as the goddess she is. You have written a beautiful piece. I wish I had someone who cared enough to watch me, and let me know. Keep writing fiction. You have a talent.

  25. Sam November 7, 2014 at 5:49 PM #

    What a truly wonderful piece, every word was beautiful. Thanks 🙂

  26. kathy campbell February 21, 2015 at 3:58 PM #

    I ache with your longing as well…my heart is full.
    What a revelation that some things are so pure and innocent that looking from afar is adequate. The spell must not be broken.
    Written with heartfelt emotion…nothing speaks louder than this.
    I will treasure these words as a reminder of all that is perfect in it’s innocence.
    Kathy

  27. Jolanda August 21, 2015 at 10:54 AM #

    I could read a whole book of this. I was totaly captured in the story, smell the air, see the surrounding and feel the emotions. You’re an amazing writer!

  28. Dianne March 12, 2016 at 10:34 AM #

    Beautiful love…..and so well written

  29. shezia December 23, 2017 at 1:51 PM #

    the insights you always share mean the world to me :0)

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