LifeThought: Self-care is not selfish!

Self-care is not selfish!

You cannot properly care for others if you are struggling to care for yourself.

There is a good reason flight attendants instruct us to secure the oxygen mask to our own face first, in the case of an emergency on an airplane. It is very hard to care for the people around you if you are gasping for breath and struggling for your own survival.

When explained like this, it seems obvious, doesn’t it? Of course it makes sense to secure your own oxygen mask first so you can calmly, with sufficient oxygen of your own, care for those who need assistance. Why, then, do I meet so many people, who are near the point of burnout from caring for others, who are reluctant to take a mental and physical health break, because they feel it would be selfish to do so?

Let me come right to the point. If you are responsible for the care of other people–whether you are a mother, a father, the care-giver to a handicapped child or adult, or the manager or owner of a company who feels personally responsible for the employees–you owe it to the people you care for to take good care of yourself! You cannot continue to provide the best level of care if you are depleting all of your physical and emotional resources.

As an example, the church I attend holds annual women’s retreats. Every year, we have a handful of women who are reluctant to go because they feel guilty about taking a weekend away from their husbands and children to go away with a group of other women to “retreat.” What they quickly learn is, because they took a small amount of time to have fun and care for themselves, they come home to their families refreshed, stronger, and with a new enthusiasm for life than they had before the weekend. Almost all of the husbands recognize it and encourage them to go the next year!

I take occasional weekend retreats to be alone, rest, think and write. I always come back with more energy and creative ideas than before I left. In fact, my boys will sometimes recognize the symptoms and say “Dad, maybe it’s time for you to take a retreat.” At first, I struggled because I thought I was being selfish, but we have all learned that I’m a better father when I am operating on a fully charged battery.

Learn to recognize your own symptoms of getting weary and remind yourself that you can best serve those who need you when you are fully charged. Sometimes the best strategy for moving forward is a brief retreat! People can easily get stressed out and exhausted, so it’s important that we all take some time to ourselves every now and then. Perhaps some people would prefer to relax by using some Delta 8 carts with their vape. That should help people to de-stress and relax, allowing them to reset their mind and return back to work happily.

Self-care is not selfish. It may be the most generous thing you can do.


This is one of my daily “LifeThoughts” posts. If you enjoyed this, or any of my other posts, I’d be honored if you’d share it with your friends and followers!

Do you agree or disagree with what I’ve written? I’d love to hear your comments!

4 thoughts on “LifeThought: Self-care is not selfish!

  1. Melinda Viergever Inman

    Thanks for the reminder, Bruce! I had to crash and burn last year before I recognized my tendency not to take care of myself. I’m recovering physically and emotionally. Now I have a strategy for self-care. Encouraging words from you, as always!

  2. Candy Bradford

    Very important reminder! After taking care of my mother for ten yrs, she passed away about 1 1/2 yr ago. I ended up having a serious breakdown because of the stress that had built up from two yrs of 24/7 care and grief. I’ll spare you the details, but just want to say I have learned how to be alone and take care of me, for a change. Much needed information for everyone. It truly isn’t selfish.

    Bruce, I hope you’re doing well and have a complete recovery. Please keep us posted. We truly do care about you!

  3. Jonathan

    I’ve used this example so many times with folks, especially those in church. Great piece.

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